02 Jun 2011
Posted by Miss Kissy 
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King Chris
“Kissy, Kissy… Us men, we love our candy. The Kissy’s of the world keep us (well some of us) on top of our game so we can get us a Kissy. So why do so many women forget what attracted us to them in the first place? Life happens and a woman can quickly go from 130 to 230lbs, slows down, etc. And its definitely not easy to tell a woman she needs to hit the gym. Love can hold you together, but love doesn’t keep you happy. I’m not saying a woman needs to stay teenage size, but keep the fire up. Am I selfish?”
Chris, It’s not that these women forget what attracted you to them to begin with. People in general are lead to believe the many falsehoods pushed by society. The main falsity is that looks don’t count. A average person truly believes that it’s what’s on the inside that counts. So they hold onto this thought that as long as they are a good person they can let their looks go by the wayside. In reality it’s what is on the inside that keeps a person attracted to you. But it’s the outside that attracts a person to you the most. A combination of both is what makes a person who they are. One without the other is not valuable in a relationship.
It’s so odd to me to hear people continuously quote the bible. Yet, they seem to not notice that in the bible it also says, your body is your temple. .
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body,” (1 Cor. 6:19-20).
I guess they skipped past that page….. These same people also cling to all of their material possessions to maintain their personal self esteem, and will be quick to call a person vain if they show appreciation for their body. God put a lot of work into the human body. Where is the appreciation for it?
Anyway, back to what I was saying. I believe that the other partner in these relationships is just as much to blame for the weight gain.. You are the one who silently watched them gain weight and allowed them to be comfortable doing so. Often times a person may not notice the physical difference until after dozens of pounds have accrued. You should notify your mate of this weight gain and help them get to the gym. It’s all about the way you say it. You could always just go out and purchase a membership for the both of you and start working out together. But it should be rectified before it gets out of hand.
Chris I do not think you are selfish at all. I believe that unlike a lot of people these days, you are simply honest.
Why do you think women gain weight after they get a man?
63 Comments
Cuz they either A.) Eating good or B.) Having babies
or C) no longer care
They get comfortable!
kissy going grow up and replace Oprah..i love what you're doing …keep it up
I think there happiness in there relationship causes them 2 get too comfortable& a little lazy
@Kissy valid observation! i think that part of it is a comfort thing we nuture our children. when there is a man to do that for us we go back to being a baby in a weird sense.
Because they probably think that he's gonna stay or he be stressin they ass out one of the two or it just might be both
In jamaica when some 1 gains wieght we say they r content n comfortable it's not a bad thing but from 130 to 250 thats letting yourself go, not good.
well cuz they gettin pampered and thing …and of course d loving.
Because I had two children back to back! I have always loved being PlusSize, but this belly has to go, LOL!
We become comfortble like me right now i find a good man and u know what
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Women love eye candy too……I have seen too many tits and ass and many men sport aprons……so WOMEN are not the only ones that need to work out men need to treat their bodies as a temple too. Life does happen you never know why a person will gain weight. It could be because of an illness or medication and in many cases people get comfortable and stop moving. Besides, attraction is what draws us to another person, however, don’t let that be the only basis of falling in love, everyBODY changes ,<)
No I don’t think he is selfish. While you want to thing the inside counts, and it does, it wasn’t your inside that made that initial attraction, it only sealed the deal. Once that initial attraction is gone, the goes the fire. Some people are turned on by personality but the majority of us by the physical and visual, especially men.
I agree people don’t respect the body gave their soul to experience life in this world. There is s difference between a person that gains weight because of disease and illness and those that simply don’t care to take care of their body and appereance
Most of the time the weight gain is because the person doesn’t work out and eat right which leads to obesity and heart disease. Sadly ive found it easier to get brothas in the gym than sistah. I can’t even get some sistah to use a work out DVD.
No I don’t think he is selfish. While you want to think the inside counts, and it does, it wasn’t your inside that made that initial attraction, it only sealed the deal. Once that initial attraction is gone, the goes the fire. Some people are turned on by personality but the majority of us by the physical and visual, especially men.
I am sorry I diverted the main topic of conversation and could not delete my previous comment. I believe I am one of those guys you mention who does not comprehend what you say, at least at first glance. Well I know I am intelligent! : )! However, speaking on the same lines, it is all about the hormones and sometimes no matter how hard we try, genetics and nature usually overwhelms nurture and environment.
Sorry EDWARD, I deleted it because I made a error in the title. Nothing to do with the comments posted. Thank You for reposting.
A lot of us don’t have balance in our lives, we are always at church or going out to eat in between services or selling dinners at church fund raising and we ignore our bodies.
well i have notice that men like girls with big bootys and ones that dont have gets no luv we should treat our temple with luv and respect so whats the deal……????
It’s easier to be indoctrinated than it is to remain healthy
I wouldn’t say selfish but delusional. True as we age the metabolism slows down but it isn’t because of age more so than inactivity. The wonderful thing about the body is that you can sculpt it to what ever you want (if you want to do the work).
@Brandy…..Sounds like you need some booty pop, lol….kidding. That is a whole different conversation, but it goes back to that visual appeal. Not everybody is into that though, just most.
Great question, if people would grant their bodies the same sanctity they give the church or Bible, perhaps we’d have more healthy Brutha’s and Sista’s.
Just because you come to church weekly or daily doesn’t mean the person will respect their bodies spiritually. You can’t receive Christ and his grace if your body is unclean. You have to willfully asks and surrender yourself to god to clean the temple in your body.
I ignore any unhealthy statement, because the Fact is if you’re unhealthy you’re killing yourself. I don’t care how much you pray and sit in church, eat and live an unhealthy life and see who comes to your rescue….
It is very important to respect your body. who u with is also important, how u use it is also important. I think most of us man,we take that into consideration when we want to mary. Obveously, how would I introduce a Woman who have slept with half of all man in my street to my family? mindful of AIDS as well. So treat ur body as a temple that needs to retain its glory so that when I introduce u as my wife to friends, they should not feel pity for me.
Lol. have peace with thy self, it doesn’t matter wheter u have ur back on the ground with legs facing up shouting I am coming, I m coming, Yes, yes, yes, take me take me, Oh Lord! I m here – U need to Take care of your Body and treat it like a Temple then u shall see the kindom of heaven. bye, love u all.
totally true, some people just dont understand that you are given one body and what you do with it is your responsibiltiy. If you trash it, than dont expect much.
I think a woman sometimes relaxes once she gets her man. Nothing wrong with that, but still realize what attracted the man. You can stay with a woman due to love, children, or a good personality, but that total chemistry will leak. And the man has to use all his will power to just accept the way things are.
Why do women gain weight after they get a man? | AsK Kissy http://fb.me/TK1LPxID
Cuz they either A.) Eating good or B.) Having babies
or C) no longer care
They get comfortable!
kissy going grow up and replace Oprah..i love what you’re doing …keep it up
I think there happiness in there relationship causes them 2 get too comfortable& a little lazy
@Kissy valid observation! i think that part of it is a comfort thing we nuture our children. when there is a man to do that for us we go back to being a baby in a weird sense.
Because they probably think that he’s gonna stay or he be stressin they ass out one of the two or it just might be both
In jamaica when some 1 gains wieght we say they r content n comfortable it’s not a bad thing but from 130 to 250 thats letting yourself go, not good.
well cuz they gettin pampered and thing …and of course d loving.
Because I had two children back to back! I have always loved being PlusSize, but this belly has to go, LOL!
We become comfortble like me right now i find a good man and u know what
cz dy gt 2 comfortable wt wt dy gt: n 4 sum is bcz of stress:if dey r stressed in deir relationships dy turn 2 food 4 comfort:
Weight goes up sex goes down. I hate to say it but society has been trained to accept certain things in life and marriages … This topic is one of them things. I approach a relationship like a job. If you slack off or aren’t progressing you get fired or demoted. Same thing in a relationship… Can’t put your best foot forward in the beginning then slack off cause you think he or she ain’t going no where. The same things that get people keep them happy also.
@trudi can I help you get your groove back lol …
we spoil our women they comfortable with we take them out to eat and shopping and getting pregnant !! Overtime they lazy not excersizing poor dietng etc women and men should always keep active men could b lazy too get fat etc… Jus sayin
Man and Woman gain weight once in a relationship! Eating, Sexing and Sleeping. But after all the initial fun, it’s time to get back to health!
Lol I never heard of that!
They get too damn comfortable ijs
Do they?? I didn’t know that. I thought it’s the men who gain weight. Lol!
RT @KissyDenise: Why do women gain weight after they get a man? | AsK Kissy http://fb.me/TK1LPxID
RT @KissyDenise: Why do women gain weight after they get a man? | AsK Kissy http://fb.me/TK1LPxID
Pretty much the same reason we calm down on the gotta get a hot outfit every week end….
The hunt is over….
Having babies, being greedy lol, and the he ain’t going no where mind state.
Ohhhh and the best reason of all….. Happiness
Deep.
They may get comfy & relaxed or they may not be as physically active
By this logic, all the skinny women are single. I hate generalities even this one. Thinking is hard work.
Women can gain as much weight as they want. It’s us men who should be watching our figure. Women have the babies. Their bodies go through changes throughout the month, year so women gain, lose whatever. You look beautiful ladies!!!
At least women can always lose weight but men can’t grow hair when it goes. Everyone has their cross to bear.
i think a lot ,well some women be cooking so much for they man dat they just be eating,and eating,and eating..trying to make sho their man is ok,but they dont pay enough attention to themselves…the way to my heart is NOT thru my stomach..lol..its thru piece of mind….j/s
Men stress the hell out of us..they get comfortable and fall of their game and stress us the phuck out so we ..well some of us drink more..party more..hang out with the girls more to get away from your ass..well that was my problem now I am divorcing him and 20 pounds are gone along with the stress and bs men sometimes you are the reason so get it together boo boo!
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